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UpAgainstEvil's blog
Others are paying attention
Posted May 25th, 2009 by UpAgainstEvilThe legal community may have closed it's eyes to the truth so far, but not everyone has...
The Examiner.com is one of the most well-respected information sites on the internet, with hundreds of contributors around the country. Because of my experiences and the truth about which I write, they have chosen me to be the San Antonio Divorce Support Examiner.
You can reach my column and past articles by going to www.Examiner.com/x-4524-San-Antonio-Divorce-Support-Examiner
I hope that the advice and knowledge that is provided helps enlighten the community to the hidden world of abusers, whether emotional, verbal, financial, physical, sexual, or legal abuse.
Please pass the word.
This Week's Interesting Events
Posted April 1st, 2009 by UpAgainstEvilThis past week, while trying to communicate with my ex-husband, Benton Tower, in order to prepare the summer visitation schedule for my children, a repeat of the past 6 years showed itself clearly. The only difference was that this time all was done in written form from beginning to end. Therefore, a record of it is clear. There was nothing out of the ordinary or any different from any past attempts to have civilized and cooperative co-parenting communication. It seems that even after more than 6 years since our divorce and more than 2 years since his perjury in court which allowed him to keep possession of our children and to gain fallacious child support, he still is not satisfied with his lack of control of my life. His attempts to continue his abuse and control seem to be the only thing he has going for him these days. Let me show you how my efforts to be civil and kind are received by Benton and then how he twists them and attempts to throw them back in my face without any regard for his behavior or it's affect on our children. My letters to Benton are in bold. His are in regular type. Both are "copy/paste" verbatim. If necessary, I am prepared to post pdf copies of all.
March 23, 2009- My Email to Benton.
It's that time again...hard to believe. Christian mentioned that you were going to register him for driver's ed over the summer however, you haven't mentioned it to me in regards to my time with the boys and any plans we may have that it could interfere with. If you could please look into letting him attend now since he will be closer to the location during the school year it won't interfere with either families vacation plans. Any information about the driver education course and class schedule would be appreciated as well. I think the more time he has his permit and can practice the safer and more educated of a driver he will be. He's not playing golf right now so he's got time. He just needs to really focus on school when not doing anything else. He did mention the class was only 6 weeks but I told him to check into it now because I'm sure classes fill up quickly. Please let me know asap.
Also, both boys mentioned that they want to attend summer camp at CBC where they have been in previous summers, so I've attached the schedule for you since Christian's takes place over Father's Day weekend and he'll be with you.
Do you want to continue with the every two weeks visitation schedule this summer? If so, please let me know asap so that we can get an agreed upon schedule signed and ready to go. Otherwise, I'll decide which two periods of possession that work best for me and our plans and get it to you by April 1st.
Please let me know the answers to all above questions and issues as soon as possible.
Thanks Jennifer
The following is an attachment to my above email to him.
Benton,
The boys want to go to summer camp however, Christian’s is across Father’s Day weekend so that will be up to you whether or not he gets to go. He did not get to attend last summer as he was in New York and Washington DC on his school trip. The boys always have a great time and I believe it’s good for them to get away and explore on their own in a Christian-based environment. Please give this consideration for the boy’s sake.
The website for registration is www.Communitybible.com or you can print out the paperwork and send it in with the boys to church for them to drop off. Let me know if you need help with obtaining the paperwork as I’m sure the church will be sending some home and I can make sure you get it.
MAKE THIS A SUMMER TO REMEMBER AT CAMP TEJAS
Community Bible Church Next+Gen Summer Camps:
Session 1 – 3rd & 4th grade – June 6-9* - Cost: $295
Session 2 – 5th & 6th grade – June 9-13* - Cost: $325
Session 3 – 7th & 8th grade – June 14-18* - Cost: $340
Session 4 – 9th – 12th grade – June 18-22* - Cost: $340
*Registration is based on the grade completed in the ’08-’09 school year
Register by April 20th & save $50 off registration cost!
For fundraising information contact the Next+Gen Events Ministry at
(210) 496-5096 or nextgenevents@communitybible.com
Important Camp Dates
Early Registration Begins - February 14
Late Registration Begins - April 20
Final Payment Due - May 24th
Parents Meetings - May 31st
Two days later, on March 25, 2009-I received this response from Benton.
Jennifer,
I would like to bring you up to date on some issues with the children.
1. Attached to this email are the bills and future work that Matthew will need on his teeth. There is $540.00 that you owe from Matthew's previous orthodontic bill that I have already sent you. Matthew will be needing more othrodontic work and teeth pulled before school starts next year. I am also sending you the bill for the boys teeth cleaning and would appreciate it if you would pay your half.
2. There is bill from Chilren First Pediatrics from 2006 that I have been paying on for the past two years. I have never taken Matthew in for Strep Throat. I would appreciate it if you would reimburse me the half of the 325.00 of the orginal bill. There is an attachtment of the bill encluded in the email.
3.The divorce decree does state on or about pg 22 that you are still responsible for half of all medical and dental bills over and beyond child support.
4. As you know, Christian is on the Golf team at Churchill. We had to pay a 450.00 golf fee for him to be able to practice at Joe Corusoes for the year.
And this will be a recurrent fee every year. This cost is over and beyond normal school related expenses and I would appreciate it if you would pay half of the 450.00 so that Christian can remain in golf.
5. Christian wants to take Drivers Ed this summer. The days that he is wanting to take the class is June 8th thru June 29th and he will be taking the class with Tommy. The cost of the Drivers Ed is $343.00, please pay your half for Christian. Enclosed is the schedule.
6. Summer visitation schedule. After talking it over with the boys, they came up with the following schedule. They want you pick them up on Fri. June 5th and drop them off on Sunday June 7th at 6pm. This will allow Christian to start Drivers Ed on the 8th. Christian's last day of Drivers Ed is the 29th and you can pick him up after class to start your time with the boys. They would like to do 2 three week sessions at the beginning of summer followed by 2 two week sessions and spend the last week of summer with me to prepare for school.
7. On April 24th, I need the boys home at 7:30a. I can pick them up or you can drop them off, what ever is easiest for you.
8.Please put money in the children's lunch accounts at school.
It also included 5 attachments which he refers to in his email and below is a quick email I sent him for clarification on the summer schedule.
March 26, 2009-I sent the following email to Benton.
In regards to the summer schedule since the last day of school is a Thursday and Thursday's are my regular visitation days with the children and they will already be with me, I can either drop them off Friday morning and re-pick them back up on Friday evening at 6 pm or as a show of cooperation, I would ask if you would be willing to simply let them just spend the day with me rather than driving them back to your house for a few hours before having to pick them up again Friday evening.
The rest of the summer schedule can be accommodated. I will type it up for us to sign as I've done in the past. However, I would like you to keep in mind that it is better to ask for my cooperation when dealing with our children rather than dictating to me what my plans will be for the summer. I ask that you please keep that in mind in future matters. If you will review my email to you, I asked if you wanted to keep with the previous summers schedule of bi-weekly visits or not.
Please respond asap so that we can find a time to get agreement signed.
Thank you,
Jennifer
I still to this day, April 1st, have not received an answer or response of any kind to the above email. Yesterday, March 31, 2009, I sent Benton my itemized response to his previous itemized email to me.
Benton,
I'm sorry that you still haven't responded to the email below this one or to the text message letting you know to check your email. Please allow me to respond to each of your points that you have itemized to me in your previous email.
1) Unfortunately, you have not sent me a copy of any bill from the orthodontist's office. What you have sent me is a listing of the account history, but this is not a bill clearly defining what the remaining balance is after both of our insurances have paid. Also, in regard to sending me bills for the children's medical and dental expenses, they are to be sent within 10 days of receiving the bills according to page 22, #11 of our divorce decree. After more than 6 years since our divorce, I have yet to see one. The comprehensive orthodontic treatment level II plan that you have sent to me does not include any orthodontic benefits from the secondary dental insurance that I provide for the children. You should also double check with the insurance company, because I don't believe the orthodontic benefits begin until around July '09 time frame as there was a year waiting period for orthodontic coverage. So after my insurance coverage benefits are added to the plan you can send me a new proposal. Lastly, the dentist/orthodontist that you are currently taking the children to, and have been receiving services from, for the past four or five years is not in-network and is, therefore, 100% your responsibility per page 22 of our divorce decree, because you did not get my written approval, nor did you ever ask for it.
2) Regarding the bill from Children's First Pediatrics, you mentioned in your previous email that you have never taken Matthew in for strep throat. However, according to the bill, Matthew was seen for strep throat on Tuesday, March 28, 2006, so either you or Polli took him, as I did not have possession of the children on that day. When I took Christian on Friday, September 7, 2007 for an ear infection, I notified you in writing that the office staff was gone by the time we finished seeing the doctor and I told you that the bill was going to be sent to you, as the insurance at that doctor is under your name. You never notified me or sent me a copy of any bill regarding that appointment, and again, it's been a year and a half now, which exceeds the ordered 10 day notification of any bills.
3) Yes, the divorce decree does state on page 21-22 that copies of bills are supposed to be sent within 10 days, changes to insurance within 15 days, and half of the bills are to be paid by each party if incurred within network. Therefore, if you do not notify me or send me any copies of bills, statements, receipts or EOB's then I have nothing on which to base re-imbursement or direct payment to the doctor's office. I have repeatedly in the past, whenever I have taken the children to the doctor, sent you the proper and required documents within the 10-day required time-frame and have yet to receive any form of re-imbursement from you, even though technically since you receive child support, you would only be returning my own money. Therefore, you are in contempt of the court order. If you feel I am in contempt, then feel free to take me to court, please.
4) Yes, I am aware of Christian's involvement with the Churchill Golf Team due to his contact with me, not yours. I am also aware of the $450/yr, Joe Caruso's membership for golf practices because Art and I were in attendence at the golf meeting at the beginning of the golf season...you nor Polli were there. You stated that "we paid", in your previous email to me and that you want to be re-imbursed for half. However, since this was paid with child support money, technically, "Art and I paid" for the golf expense. Such items are exactly what the child support is and therefore, no re-imbursement is required on my part. But you are more than welcome to reimburse me for your half of the expense since you paid the full balance with our money and that's how you are choosing to look at it.
5) I'm glad Christian will be taking driver's ed as soon as possible so that he is able to practice as much as possible this summer. Thank you for the schedule of the classes and I hope that you register him quickly since it does say "Limited Enrollment". Again, child support covers the cost of the $343.00 class. We have travel plans for the summer so Christian will need to take driver's ed while at your home during the summer. Please do not pay for or schedule him to attend driver's ed during my visitation time, you will only be wasting more of the children's money.
6) Since I have not heard back from you regarding a time that we could meet to have the summer visitation schedule signed, I have mailed, emailed, and posted on the website for you a copy of my summer possession schedule. It is basically, the time frame you indicated that you wanted. I would appreciate in the future, you not telling me when I will have my children over the summer. That is, and shall remain, my call. We are both their parents. I am not the alternate adult as you so like to have me listed on their school records.
7) Per your email offer to pick the boys up on the morning of April 24 at 7:30am, thank you. I will let you pick them up at my home, as I have an 8am appointment that morning on this side of town.
8) Child support is for the children's lunch money accounts. Please see that you are using it for the correct purposes and benefits of Christian and Matthew. Since I have been forced to pay child support to you from March 1, 2007 to the present day, due to your conspiracy to commit perjury on the stand, you have received, $15,756.99 from me to pay for the children's expenses that you listed above. There is more than enough money still in their child support account if you are truly using it for the purpose for which it is intended, Christian and Matthew. Child support is not to pay for your material wants like your new car, your new motorscooter, your new RV, your new dog, the all new cell phones, and your family vacations, all of which have been purchased since child support began. By the way, how much of the $46,891.75 pool and spa in your backyard has been paid for with the children's child support money. I highly recommend you re-evaluate your spending and quit denying your children their necessities and extracurricular activities while you spend their money on your material desires.
You can't have it both ways. You can either collect child support and actually pay for the children's expenses or you can request not to have child support and I can return to paying for half of the boy's expenses like I did for the first four years we were divorced. It's your choice, but you can't have both just because you want control.
In the future, please do not wait so long to inform me of information that you are court-ordered to provide to me regarding our children.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
In addition, to the above email I also sent him my 2009 summer possession schedule which if you notice is exactly what he wanted.
Summer 2009 Possession Schedule
Benton,
March 31, 2009
Since I was unable to get any response or correspondence from you in regard to my questions about summer visitation schedule for the children, I have written the following schedule. It is pretty much the schedule you stated, as I wanted to cooperate with what works best for the boy’s schedule. However, I was still hoping for a response and acknowledgment of my correspondences to you via email and text message, both which were sent six days ago on Thursday the 26th.
I will already have the children on Thursday, June 4th, as it is my regular visitation time according to the divorce decree. I have the boys on Thursdays during the school year and Thursday is a school day. Unless, I hear from you allowing me to keep them through Friday daytime (see my earlier email and text) I will return them to your home at 7:30am as per page 14, second part of item #2. Then I will pick them up again at 6pm on that same Friday the 5th at your home and will return them at 6pm on Sunday the 7th. You mentioned this exact timing in your email to me on Wednesday the 25th, but, you omitted my standard possession on Thursday.
Please recall that on May 25, 2006, which was also a (last day of school) Thursday, and was my standard possession time with the children. You illegally took the children out of school early and left town with them. You did so with strict and deliberate intention solely to emotionally harm me and to take my time away from my children. You were angry that you had been served with court papers the night before and you chose to use unethical and illegal means to show your anger. I did not call the police to report the children taken in 2006 in order to not put any additional stress on them due to your behavior. However, please do not make that mistake again this year, as I will be forced to report you if they are not at their schools when I arrive to pick them up.
I (or Art) will pick up both children on June 29, 2009 at 9am from your home. I will take Christian to his last day of driver’s education. That is not a problem. You or Polli may pick them up at our home on July 20th at 9am, as per the first part of item #2 on page 14.
I (or Art) will again pick up both children on August 3, 2009 at 9am from your home. Then, you or Polli may pick them up again on August 17th at 9am at our home. Both of these time periods were at your request and I am honoring that schedule.
I’m sorry that you were unwilling to work with me this summer to allow for a more consistent summer schedule of every other two weeks, as we have done over the past two summers.
Jennifer Williams
Dear Readers, please pay close attention to the tone of the correspondence and how, even though I work very hard to remain cordial and civily direct in my correspondences to Benton, he continues to speak down to me, dictate to me, and give me orders in his correspondence. Now for anyone who questions or doubts who the abuser is...reread the book and the entire blog, and then get back with me. Who's abusing and taking advantage of whom, here? Let me share one more very important piece of information...the legal system DOES NOT CARE! The abuse to me, to my children, and to Benton's current wife, the perjury in court, the lies, the manipulation, the deceit...it's all been brought to the authorities' attention and they have continually responded with, "We are so sorry, but there is nothing we can do". Please tell me why we have police, lawyers, judges, a legal system, DA's, and a courthouse, if there is nothing they can do? I believe it's because there is nothing they WANT to do, because then they would have to admit that they, the police, the DA's office, and Judge Martha Tanner, made a huge mistake and are now contributing to the continued abuse of my children and me. One day, the children will be grown and none of this will matter. However, none of us deserves to be forced to continue to live in an abusive situation, just because a judge is embarrassed to correct her wrongs in siding with an emotionally and physically abusive man.
Please write to Judge Martha Tanner at 100 Dolorosa, 4th floor, San Antonio, TX 78205 and call her at 210-335-2501. read more »
Binding Abuse
Posted February 20th, 2009 by UpAgainstEvilIn the State of Texas, if one signs a legal document while intoxicated, under the influence of drugs, mentally handicapped, or under extreme duress, there may be grounds to have that contract declared null. However, if a woman who has suffered years of emotional and verbal abuse signs a divorce decree under the coercive hand of her abuser, why does she not have the same legal defense?
Emotional and verbal abuse causes brainwashing, creating a sense of powerlessness and dependency. This leads the person to use closed logic, having been forced through fear and intimidation to not question their abuser’s decisions. Abusers are master-manipulators who extort compliance. An abuser will threaten financial disaster and child removal in order to get Mom’s cooperation, while structuring their affairs so to appear to be the good guy. read more »
According to the National Domestic Hotline website, “Domestic Violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person... behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound…” Therefore, how can one, while under it, be held to a legally binding contract? If one is kidnapped, being kept under the watchful manipulation of the abuser, becoming brainwashed to the point of staying with their captor without restraints… does that mean they are no longer abused? Do they deserve what happens if they are forced into a legal contract while enslaved? Are they bound by it? Lawmakers, explain the difference between that person and a woman who lives 24/7 being belittled, controlled, embarrassed, manipulated, deceived, and overpowered emotionally, physically, financially and sexually? Such is now the case in the great State of Texas.Letter to Attorney Robert Zepeda
Posted February 2nd, 2009 by UpAgainstEvilDear Mr. Robert Zepeda,
The purpose of this letter is to ask you to wrestle with “right” vs. “legal ethics”. Let me confirm that you are an exceptional attorney. I watched you take the case of an abusive, lying, client, William Benton Tower, and you went up against a board certified attorney, Hector Mendez (who charged 50% more than you did) who was armed and you destroyed him in court. You out-worked, out-argued, and “out-lawyered”, my attorney. The saddest part is that your courtroom victory also cost my two sons and me our lives together. The question remains: At what price is your victory?
On the day that a different attorney, Russell Amsberry, was also beaten by you, your son and lawyer, John Zepeda, sighed loudly with relief when Judge Tanner denied our motion when yet another attorney, Steven Benke, had failed to serve notice to you in a timely fashion regarding our Motion for a New Trial. John knew, and knows, that if we could get back in front of even the uncaring Martha Tanner, your case would crumble. You know that, too.
Now, Mr. Zepeda, I ask you to consider these points. When did you know that Benton Tower, Kathy Tower, Adrian Lopez, and Manuel Hernandez, had determined to fabricate lies on the witness stand? If Benton kept this from you during the entire trial, then I have two observations. First, that is par for the course. Benton is exceptional at lying, as you certainly know from his treatment of his current wife, Polli Tower, as well as from my book. If you have doubts, simply look up the definition of pathological liar and apply that definition to what you know about Benton. Second, he conned you, too. As good as you are at what you do, that makes him better at what he does; lying. The next question is, “At what point does client representation take a back seat to truth?” If you were fooled, you now know the truth. Why do I know that you know? Because you have not filed suit against me for defamation with this website and my book, Up Against Evil. I have named names, given dates, provided written documentation. You watched your client and his THIRD wife file divorce papers against each other and you have a copy of the Protective Order against Benton accusing him of domestic violence. If you don’t, you may print a copy from this site. Simply click on Blog, above, and look under the heading, “Is There Soon To Be A THIRD Ex-wife Who Could No Longer Take The Abuse?” My book detailed personal information that only Benton and Polli could know, unless someone else was told by one of them. Two months after publication, Polli left feigning assault. Oh yes, she swore under oath that it was true, didn’t she. She knows that she had a piercing. She knows the dates of her move-in with Benton, the days he “visited” me. Did she put two and two together and say, “He IS a lying, cheating, manipulative, scumbag?” Why else would she want to leave based upon the carefully choreographed performance at the February 2007 trial that they are “a loving family”?
Now, Mr. Zepeda, you have represented your client well. It is time for you to leave a legacy of truth and honor to your son and his future legal practice. It is time for you to go to Judge Martha Tanner and tell her, “Jennifer Williams told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and my client and his witnesses lied.” You MAY not have known it during the trial. I would love for a review board to research that. But, sir, you do know it now. You know that I don’t deserve to have my boys damaged for life by my lying, cheating, mean, abusive, ex-husband. I don’t deserve to have my financial future ruined by an unjust judgment to pay your fees. That has already occurred due to the wrongful and exorbitant child support that you orchestrated. I don’t deserve to have my raping ex-husband to continue to prosper in my abuse while he continues to ruin my children.
Now we come to THE problem. What does a righteous attorney do with "right" vs. "legal ethics"? Does he continue to represent a repeat abuser? Does he continue to try to collect an unrighteous judgment? Or does he do that which he KNOWS is right in freeing a mother and her sons from tyranny? The choice is truly yours. When it is time for you to leave this world, will your family, friends, colleagues, and even adversaries, say, “What an honorable man Robert Zepeda was!”? Even more importantly, will the Judge that you face after you are gone say it? read more »
Why hasn't anyone responded with any details?
Posted December 11th, 2008 by UpAgainstEvilFor over a month now the challenage has been out there to provide me with details about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my ex-husband and how I supposedly did not tell the entire story. The facts are in the free book with all the details. No one has come forth to file suit against me for defamation or slander because everything I wrote is the truth which my Ex, his mistress/wife, and their attorney do not want in court. The anonymous person who sent the previous blog comment claiming that I wasn't willing to admit the truth and that I needed to tell the readers the whole story, has been given more than a month to provide any information that I supposedly omitted. They have not come forward because they know that they have nothing credible to add or to challenge.
This anonymous person apparently works in the medical field since the blog comment came through the Baptist Health Care internet service provider during the night shift of 11/04/08 at 12:52 a.m. At that moment, someone was on the site within the Baptist Health Care System (see below) ON THE PAGE FOR INTERESTING COMMENT-6 at 12:52:06 a.m. The only people that I know who are medical professionals are 1) Benton Tower, my ex-husband who works at Methodist Children's Hospital unless he's working at Baptist as well and I doubt that very much. 2) Polli Tower, his mistress/wife who I last heard was working at various hospitals around town when and where she is needed. Given those two possibilities, I wonder who the author was. If ever challenged in court, we will find out who was working that evening and who was online there. Could Polli be trying to save face after confronting Benton about this book and trying to leave him after he hit her and she fled for her safety? The public record shows that she filed a protective order and they filed for divorce, but this soon was all dismissed as she seems to have fallen for his manipulation and has come back home to him.
Neither party will admit the truth because they have been telling the lies and playing the cheating part for so long now that too much rides on not backing down. But if I were in their position and someone wrote a tell all book about me that was "ficticious and slanderous", I would have them in court so fast their heads would spin. However, in this case, no one, not even their attorney, has said Boo about this book, because they all know that they can't risk this kind of evidence getting into court.
What say you now, Benton, Polli, Robert, Adrian, Manuel, and Kathy?
70.243.68.68 (Baptist Health System)
Texas, Houston, United States, 0 returning visit
Could I Be Proven Wrong?
Posted November 6th, 2008 by UpAgainstEvilOn November 4, 2008 an anonymous person posted a comment to the blog entry titled, "Today's Interesting Events" on June 16, 2008. This is their comment:
"Up against evil? You need to tell your readers the whole story first of how you lost custody of your children before you have them examine your issue. If they knew all the events leading up to your court case, then they would have a better knowledge of what is going on,and really understand why justice was served. Stop fooling yourself. But I guess as the guilty party, you don't like taking responsibility for your actions, that you have to blame others. What comes around goes around. Even sugar daddy couldn't help you out of this one."
I sent a reply to the comment but wanted to make sure that my response was not overlooked. Therefore, I have also added my reply to this blog.
"Thank you for your comment. I have to ask, "To which events you are referring?" Please assist in refreshing my memory so that I can tell the story accurately. No one else has come forward to mention any missed details or errors, so I welcome assistance if something has escaped my memory. If you will provide details, I will be happy to update the account."
Latest news
Posted October 24th, 2008 by UpAgainstEvilA few weeks ago the Bexar County Courthouse posted that the divorce proceedings for Benton and Polli had been dropped. They also posted that Polli had dropped the Protective Order against Benton. I guess it's easier to live in denial and abuse than to face the consequences of seeing and believing in the truth and doing what is right and just.
The next time she needs a protective order from his abuse or they file for divorce again (because there may very well be a next time), who's going to believe her then? Isn't that usually the case in abusive marriages such as this one?
Adultery, cheating, lying, stealing, manipulation, control, perjury and domestic violence never lead to a happy ending.
I pray everyday that God saves Benton and changes his heart.
Could It Be????
Posted September 9th, 2008 by UpAgainstEvilThroughout the past 15 years of hell through which Benton has put me, I've seen no evidence of his heart belonging to God. That really could be about to change. Please let it be so. I'm careful not to be too hopeful, as I have seen consistent evidence since I've known Benton Tower that he will do everything that is necessary in order to manipulate his way. The evidence for that is in his convincing me that, "We only need one attorney for our divorce in order to save money. I know the boys live with you and will continue to live with you, but since I am paying the attorney, he tells me that I (Benton) must be listed as the primary parent. The same holds with me paying you (Jennifer) support; I've been paying you since our separation and will continue to do so, but I'm limited by what is in the degree if we state an amount. Let's just leave it out and I (Benton) will continue to pay you (Jennifer) more than what I'm willing to place in the decree." I am so sorry to say that I bought Benton’s lies and it has cost me dearly.
Maybe God has touched Benton’s cold heart, maybe not. It seems that he has taken our boys to Wednesday night church 2 or 3 times recently. This is a huge step, as he never once attended church with the children and me during our ten year marriage. His reasoning to me back then was that he didn’t believe in going to church and that he thought attending church didn’t make any difference in whether you were a Christian or not. You know what? He is actually right on something. You don’t have to attend church to be a Christian; however, most Christians who do attend do so out of faith and eagerness to serve God and to learn.
But for the most part, a person’s character speaks louder for their claim of being a Christian than attending church does. Someone who purposefully takes his children away from their Mother, lies under oath about her in court, tries to pretend she doesn’t exist while replacing her with his mistress, and refuses to cooperatively co-parent with her because he wants to maintain control of her, does not demonstrate Christian character. So you can claim to be a believer and you can claim to be a Christian, but if your heart is true and pure for the best interests of your children and what God says is right about how to treat your wife (the Mother of your children) who happens to now be your ex-wife, then none of these actions would be occurring. read more »
A father who refuses to hear his son's plea.
Posted August 25th, 2008 by UpAgainstEvilOn my journey to keep you up-to-date on how life is here at our house, I must share how we are constantly facing opposition and more insult to injury. These are the details of this past weekend.
My two boys were with me for the last two weeks of summer before they were to return to their father’s house leading up to the first day of school, which is today. Well, all was going along fine until the last week. My older son, who is beginning his freshman year of high school today, informed me that he did not want to return to his father’s house but instead wanted to stay here with me and attend the high school across the street from our home. We talked about it for a couple of days to go over all the pros and cons of each school (the one at my house vs. the one at his father’s house). He said it wasn’t so much the difference in the schools as it was the difference in the homes. My guess is that the fighting, violence, and the instability of home life at his father’s house have finally taken its toll. My son says he doesn’t even have a relationship with his father anymore and prefers to stay away from him.
Knowing that I had a written agreement with Benton for him to pick the children up on Friday morning, the 22nd of August, I had both boys ready to go and all their things packed at the front door. He arrived and my youngest son said he wanted to stay and live here at my house, but that he wanted to go visit his father for the weekend and come back and start school where I live. I said you can ask your dad but I doubt he will let you. Then I hugged and kissed both boys good-bye and they walked out the front door.
I went to the kitchen to make my breakfast and a few minutes later my oldest son came back in fussing about how his dad is so mean and doesn’t care what he wants. He went back outside and I could hear Benton yelling at him to get in the car but my son just kept telling him, No, I don’t want to go to your house, I want to stay here. Benton yelled that he didn’t care what my son wanted and to get in the car. My son came back in and said I asked dad, “What about what’s best for me?” and I said, “What did he say?”. Benton’s response was, “I don’t care”. Then he went back outside.
The next thing I know there is a knock at the door and when I opened it I was surprised to see a police officer. I stepped out on the porch and answered his questions and they were able to get Benton to agree to leave our son at my house for the weekend. My son told me that his dad told him he was going to call the cops and that they would force him to get in the car and leave with him or else Benton would have our son sent to juvenile hall for refusing to obey him. My son told me that he would rather be there than at his dad’s house. Why can’t Benton see that he has ruined his relationship with his own son and he could lose his heart forever? None of the past 5 ½ years of court battles and custody issues ever needed to occur. All Benton had to do was to be a decent person and to share our children with me, their Mother, amicably. There was no need to rip the children away and to put all of us through so many years of pain and heartache just because he needed to have control. Now his own children don’t even want to be around him.
I told my son that I would have to drop him off at the school near his dad’s house on Monday morning and he would eventually have to go back to his father’s house after school, till they were scheduled to come back to my house a few days later. He didn’t care; he refused to leave with his father. I asked him several times as the day progressed and a few more times over the weekend if he would like for me to drop him off at his dad’s house. He said, “NO”, every time. read more »
You'll Never Believe This - Or Maybe You Will
Posted August 12th, 2008 by UpAgainstEvilWell Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears that Benton's skill as master manipulator is hard at work again. After you've read this, do you think that he's pulling Polli back with lies and deception, playing her like a finely tuned violin? She's back at home with him, at least temporarily, and she even brought her two minor daughters with her. Doesn't all this behavior go against the current Protection Order that is still in place according to Bexar.org? www.co.bexar.tx.us/webapps/html/DKLITDSP02.asp?txtLitIsn=0004654869 Looks to me like someone really has the denial blinders on. When Polli originally fled and was literally hiding from Benton, she took her soon to be 17-year-old son with her because she stated in her Protective Order Application that she was afraid for both of their safety. However, she left her 14-year-old and 10-year-old step children in his care without warning the police or their Mother that she had sworn a Protective Order against Benton. Now she is visiting him and bringing her two younger daughters who are 14 and 12, but not her son. Does any of this make you question her emotional state of mind, or maybe her motive?
It's public record that she married and divorced her 1st husband twice, and according to what Benton told me, Polli told Benton that this 1st husband was an abuser. If that were the case, why did she leave her two young daughters with him when they divorced for the second time in 2000? Can Polli be trusted to see the signs of abuse? Is coming back to Benton after years of his abuse natural?
A lot of abused women find it very difficult to leave their abusers for good, due to the emotional hold their abusers have on them; this is proven fact. Abusers are some of the best actors and they know exactly how to prey on their victim's weaknesses. Their lies, manipulation, deception, fake smilies, and fake apologies, charming the women to drop any charges they have against them, or to not divorce them and leave them to be alone, are their tactics. Abusers thrive on the fear they create and on their control and manipulation.
Do you suppose it's Benton's plan to draw Polli back into his web so that he can get a good strong hold on her this time? That way, he's not left alone; he isn't kicked out of her house (separate property, bought prior to their marriage), so that he isn't left with any of the debt that he's accumulated during their marriage, and most importanly for him, so that he doesn't lose my boys (or the child support won by perjury)... boys who want to leave anyway.
Many emotionally and physically abused women return to their abusers out of guilt and shame. Maybe they don't have family or friends to help them, maybe they no longer have the self-esteem and self-confidence needed to make it on their own. However, it is only a matter of time before the abuse is fired back up and again the woman must flee for her own protection.
