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This Week's Interesting Events
Posted April 1st, 2009 by UpAgainstEvil
MAKE THIS A SUMMER TO REMEMBER AT CAMP TEJAS
Session 1 – 3rd & 4th grade – June 6-9* - Cost: $295
Early Registration Begins - February 14
This past week, while trying to communicate with my ex-husband, Benton Tower, in order to prepare the summer visitation schedule for my children, a repeat of the past 6 years showed itself clearly. The only difference was that this time all was done in written form from beginning to end. Therefore, a record of it is clear. There was nothing out of the ordinary or any different from any past attempts to have civilized and cooperative co-parenting communication. It seems that even after more than 6 years since our divorce and more than 2 years since his perjury in court which allowed him to keep possession of our children and to gain fallacious child support, he still is not satisfied with his lack of control of my life. His attempts to continue his abuse and control seem to be the only thing he has going for him these days. Let me show you how my efforts to be civil and kind are received by Benton and then how he twists them and attempts to throw them back in my face without any regard for his behavior or it's affect on our children. My letters to Benton are in bold. His are in regular type. Both are "copy/paste" verbatim. If necessary, I am prepared to post pdf copies of all.
March 23, 2009- My Email to Benton.
It's that time again...hard to believe. Christian mentioned that you were going to register him for driver's ed over the summer however, you haven't mentioned it to me in regards to my time with the boys and any plans we may have that it could interfere with. If you could please look into letting him attend now since he will be closer to the location during the school year it won't interfere with either families vacation plans. Any information about the driver education course and class schedule would be appreciated as well. I think the more time he has his permit and can practice the safer and more educated of a driver he will be. He's not playing golf right now so he's got time. He just needs to really focus on school when not doing anything else. He did mention the class was only 6 weeks but I told him to check into it now because I'm sure classes fill up quickly. Please let me know asap.
Also, both boys mentioned that they want to attend summer camp at CBC where they have been in previous summers, so I've attached the schedule for you since Christian's takes place over Father's Day weekend and he'll be with you.
Do you want to continue with the every two weeks visitation schedule this summer? If so, please let me know asap so that we can get an agreed upon schedule signed and ready to go. Otherwise, I'll decide which two periods of possession that work best for me and our plans and get it to you by April 1st.
Please let me know the answers to all above questions and issues as soon as possible.
Thanks Jennifer
The following is an attachment to my above email to him.
Benton,
The boys want to go to summer camp however, Christian’s is across Father’s Day weekend so that will be up to you whether or not he gets to go. He did not get to attend last summer as he was in New York and Washington DC on his school trip. The boys always have a great time and I believe it’s good for them to get away and explore on their own in a Christian-based environment. Please give this consideration for the boy’s sake.
The website for registration is www.Communitybible.com or you can print out the paperwork and send it in with the boys to church for them to drop off. Let me know if you need help with obtaining the paperwork as I’m sure the church will be sending some home and I can make sure you get it.
MAKE THIS A SUMMER TO REMEMBER AT CAMP TEJAS
Community Bible Church Next+Gen Summer Camps:
Session 1 – 3rd & 4th grade – June 6-9* - Cost: $295
Session 2 – 5th & 6th grade – June 9-13* - Cost: $325
Session 3 – 7th & 8th grade – June 14-18* - Cost: $340
Session 4 – 9th – 12th grade – June 18-22* - Cost: $340
*Registration is based on the grade completed in the ’08-’09 school year
Register by April 20th & save $50 off registration cost!
For fundraising information contact the Next+Gen Events Ministry at
(210) 496-5096 or nextgenevents@communitybible.com
Important Camp Dates
Early Registration Begins - February 14
Late Registration Begins - April 20
Final Payment Due - May 24th
Parents Meetings - May 31st
Two days later, on March 25, 2009-I received this response from Benton.
Jennifer,
I would like to bring you up to date on some issues with the children.
1. Attached to this email are the bills and future work that Matthew will need on his teeth. There is $540.00 that you owe from Matthew's previous orthodontic bill that I have already sent you. Matthew will be needing more othrodontic work and teeth pulled before school starts next year. I am also sending you the bill for the boys teeth cleaning and would appreciate it if you would pay your half.
2. There is bill from Chilren First Pediatrics from 2006 that I have been paying on for the past two years. I have never taken Matthew in for Strep Throat. I would appreciate it if you would reimburse me the half of the 325.00 of the orginal bill. There is an attachtment of the bill encluded in the email.
3.The divorce decree does state on or about pg 22 that you are still responsible for half of all medical and dental bills over and beyond child support.
4. As you know, Christian is on the Golf team at Churchill. We had to pay a 450.00 golf fee for him to be able to practice at Joe Corusoes for the year.
And this will be a recurrent fee every year. This cost is over and beyond normal school related expenses and I would appreciate it if you would pay half of the 450.00 so that Christian can remain in golf.
5. Christian wants to take Drivers Ed this summer. The days that he is wanting to take the class is June 8th thru June 29th and he will be taking the class with Tommy. The cost of the Drivers Ed is $343.00, please pay your half for Christian. Enclosed is the schedule.
6. Summer visitation schedule. After talking it over with the boys, they came up with the following schedule. They want you pick them up on Fri. June 5th and drop them off on Sunday June 7th at 6pm. This will allow Christian to start Drivers Ed on the 8th. Christian's last day of Drivers Ed is the 29th and you can pick him up after class to start your time with the boys. They would like to do 2 three week sessions at the beginning of summer followed by 2 two week sessions and spend the last week of summer with me to prepare for school.
7. On April 24th, I need the boys home at 7:30a. I can pick them up or you can drop them off, what ever is easiest for you.
8.Please put money in the children's lunch accounts at school.
It also included 5 attachments which he refers to in his email and below is a quick email I sent him for clarification on the summer schedule.
March 26, 2009-I sent the following email to Benton.
In regards to the summer schedule since the last day of school is a Thursday and Thursday's are my regular visitation days with the children and they will already be with me, I can either drop them off Friday morning and re-pick them back up on Friday evening at 6 pm or as a show of cooperation, I would ask if you would be willing to simply let them just spend the day with me rather than driving them back to your house for a few hours before having to pick them up again Friday evening.
The rest of the summer schedule can be accommodated. I will type it up for us to sign as I've done in the past. However, I would like you to keep in mind that it is better to ask for my cooperation when dealing with our children rather than dictating to me what my plans will be for the summer. I ask that you please keep that in mind in future matters. If you will review my email to you, I asked if you wanted to keep with the previous summers schedule of bi-weekly visits or not.
Please respond asap so that we can find a time to get agreement signed.
Thank you,
Jennifer
I still to this day, April 1st, have not received an answer or response of any kind to the above email. Yesterday, March 31, 2009, I sent Benton my itemized response to his previous itemized email to me.
Benton,
I'm sorry that you still haven't responded to the email below this one or to the text message letting you know to check your email. Please allow me to respond to each of your points that you have itemized to me in your previous email.
1) Unfortunately, you have not sent me a copy of any bill from the orthodontist's office. What you have sent me is a listing of the account history, but this is not a bill clearly defining what the remaining balance is after both of our insurances have paid. Also, in regard to sending me bills for the children's medical and dental expenses, they are to be sent within 10 days of receiving the bills according to page 22, #11 of our divorce decree. After more than 6 years since our divorce, I have yet to see one. The comprehensive orthodontic treatment level II plan that you have sent to me does not include any orthodontic benefits from the secondary dental insurance that I provide for the children. You should also double check with the insurance company, because I don't believe the orthodontic benefits begin until around July '09 time frame as there was a year waiting period for orthodontic coverage. So after my insurance coverage benefits are added to the plan you can send me a new proposal. Lastly, the dentist/orthodontist that you are currently taking the children to, and have been receiving services from, for the past four or five years is not in-network and is, therefore, 100% your responsibility per page 22 of our divorce decree, because you did not get my written approval, nor did you ever ask for it.
2) Regarding the bill from Children's First Pediatrics, you mentioned in your previous email that you have never taken Matthew in for strep throat. However, according to the bill, Matthew was seen for strep throat on Tuesday, March 28, 2006, so either you or Polli took him, as I did not have possession of the children on that day. When I took Christian on Friday, September 7, 2007 for an ear infection, I notified you in writing that the office staff was gone by the time we finished seeing the doctor and I told you that the bill was going to be sent to you, as the insurance at that doctor is under your name. You never notified me or sent me a copy of any bill regarding that appointment, and again, it's been a year and a half now, which exceeds the ordered 10 day notification of any bills.
3) Yes, the divorce decree does state on page 21-22 that copies of bills are supposed to be sent within 10 days, changes to insurance within 15 days, and half of the bills are to be paid by each party if incurred within network. Therefore, if you do not notify me or send me any copies of bills, statements, receipts or EOB's then I have nothing on which to base re-imbursement or direct payment to the doctor's office. I have repeatedly in the past, whenever I have taken the children to the doctor, sent you the proper and required documents within the 10-day required time-frame and have yet to receive any form of re-imbursement from you, even though technically since you receive child support, you would only be returning my own money. Therefore, you are in contempt of the court order. If you feel I am in contempt, then feel free to take me to court, please.
4) Yes, I am aware of Christian's involvement with the Churchill Golf Team due to his contact with me, not yours. I am also aware of the $450/yr, Joe Caruso's membership for golf practices because Art and I were in attendence at the golf meeting at the beginning of the golf season...you nor Polli were there. You stated that "we paid", in your previous email to me and that you want to be re-imbursed for half. However, since this was paid with child support money, technically, "Art and I paid" for the golf expense. Such items are exactly what the child support is and therefore, no re-imbursement is required on my part. But you are more than welcome to reimburse me for your half of the expense since you paid the full balance with our money and that's how you are choosing to look at it.
5) I'm glad Christian will be taking driver's ed as soon as possible so that he is able to practice as much as possible this summer. Thank you for the schedule of the classes and I hope that you register him quickly since it does say "Limited Enrollment". Again, child support covers the cost of the $343.00 class. We have travel plans for the summer so Christian will need to take driver's ed while at your home during the summer. Please do not pay for or schedule him to attend driver's ed during my visitation time, you will only be wasting more of the children's money.
6) Since I have not heard back from you regarding a time that we could meet to have the summer visitation schedule signed, I have mailed, emailed, and posted on the website for you a copy of my summer possession schedule. It is basically, the time frame you indicated that you wanted. I would appreciate in the future, you not telling me when I will have my children over the summer. That is, and shall remain, my call. We are both their parents. I am not the alternate adult as you so like to have me listed on their school records.
7) Per your email offer to pick the boys up on the morning of April 24 at 7:30am, thank you. I will let you pick them up at my home, as I have an 8am appointment that morning on this side of town.
8) Child support is for the children's lunch money accounts. Please see that you are using it for the correct purposes and benefits of Christian and Matthew. Since I have been forced to pay child support to you from March 1, 2007 to the present day, due to your conspiracy to commit perjury on the stand, you have received, $15,756.99 from me to pay for the children's expenses that you listed above. There is more than enough money still in their child support account if you are truly using it for the purpose for which it is intended, Christian and Matthew. Child support is not to pay for your material wants like your new car, your new motorscooter, your new RV, your new dog, the all new cell phones, and your family vacations, all of which have been purchased since child support began. By the way, how much of the $46,891.75 pool and spa in your backyard has been paid for with the children's child support money. I highly recommend you re-evaluate your spending and quit denying your children their necessities and extracurricular activities while you spend their money on your material desires.
You can't have it both ways. You can either collect child support and actually pay for the children's expenses or you can request not to have child support and I can return to paying for half of the boy's expenses like I did for the first four years we were divorced. It's your choice, but you can't have both just because you want control.
In the future, please do not wait so long to inform me of information that you are court-ordered to provide to me regarding our children.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
In addition, to the above email I also sent him my 2009 summer possession schedule which if you notice is exactly what he wanted.
Summer 2009 Possession Schedule
Benton,
March 31, 2009
Since I was unable to get any response or correspondence from you in regard to my questions about summer visitation schedule for the children, I have written the following schedule. It is pretty much the schedule you stated, as I wanted to cooperate with what works best for the boy’s schedule. However, I was still hoping for a response and acknowledgment of my correspondences to you via email and text message, both which were sent six days ago on Thursday the 26th.
I will already have the children on Thursday, June 4th, as it is my regular visitation time according to the divorce decree. I have the boys on Thursdays during the school year and Thursday is a school day. Unless, I hear from you allowing me to keep them through Friday daytime (see my earlier email and text) I will return them to your home at 7:30am as per page 14, second part of item #2. Then I will pick them up again at 6pm on that same Friday the 5th at your home and will return them at 6pm on Sunday the 7th. You mentioned this exact timing in your email to me on Wednesday the 25th, but, you omitted my standard possession on Thursday.
Please recall that on May 25, 2006, which was also a (last day of school) Thursday, and was my standard possession time with the children. You illegally took the children out of school early and left town with them. You did so with strict and deliberate intention solely to emotionally harm me and to take my time away from my children. You were angry that you had been served with court papers the night before and you chose to use unethical and illegal means to show your anger. I did not call the police to report the children taken in 2006 in order to not put any additional stress on them due to your behavior. However, please do not make that mistake again this year, as I will be forced to report you if they are not at their schools when I arrive to pick them up.
I (or Art) will pick up both children on June 29, 2009 at 9am from your home. I will take Christian to his last day of driver’s education. That is not a problem. You or Polli may pick them up at our home on July 20th at 9am, as per the first part of item #2 on page 14.
I (or Art) will again pick up both children on August 3, 2009 at 9am from your home. Then, you or Polli may pick them up again on August 17th at 9am at our home. Both of these time periods were at your request and I am honoring that schedule.
I’m sorry that you were unwilling to work with me this summer to allow for a more consistent summer schedule of every other two weeks, as we have done over the past two summers.
Jennifer Williams
Dear Readers, please pay close attention to the tone of the correspondence and how, even though I work very hard to remain cordial and civily direct in my correspondences to Benton, he continues to speak down to me, dictate to me, and give me orders in his correspondence. Now for anyone who questions or doubts who the abuser is...reread the book and the entire blog, and then get back with me. Who's abusing and taking advantage of whom, here? Let me share one more very important piece of information...the legal system DOES NOT CARE! The abuse to me, to my children, and to Benton's current wife, the perjury in court, the lies, the manipulation, the deceit...it's all been brought to the authorities' attention and they have continually responded with, "We are so sorry, but there is nothing we can do". Please tell me why we have police, lawyers, judges, a legal system, DA's, and a courthouse, if there is nothing they can do? I believe it's because there is nothing they WANT to do, because then they would have to admit that they, the police, the DA's office, and Judge Martha Tanner, made a huge mistake and are now contributing to the continued abuse of my children and me. One day, the children will be grown and none of this will matter. However, none of us deserves to be forced to continue to live in an abusive situation, just because a judge is embarrassed to correct her wrongs in siding with an emotionally and physically abusive man.
Please write to Judge Martha Tanner at 100 Dolorosa, 4th floor, San Antonio, TX 78205 and call her at 210-335-2501.
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