Your Stories

In The Arms Of A Sociopath That is the name of my book, published in April of 2009. I too, was romanced and made to feel loved and protected by no other than a Sociopath. He came into my life while I was successful and full of joy and happiness. As the cameleon they are he changed after he arrived at his destination. That destination he traveled was full of bumps and long twisted roads. Even times when it appeared to be the end of the road like magic, it opened up and another pathway emerged. I know of what you speak and write. I know the legal system. I am in the middle of all aspects of this very evil, wicked, and humiliating experience. Thank God, I had no children with this loon. What I do have is a separated family, a son that does not speak to me, a mother who is in a nursing home in the last stages of Altzheimers and my one and only brother passed away and extremely empty pockets and a serious case of Herpes. I thought the legal system would be more merciful in Texas, however, it is not. I have endured horrible acts from him and still my attorney does nothing. He ate up $5,000 in 6 months and not one advancement, one paper filed on my behalf to support or help me or protect me. I am clearly on my own. My situation is somewhat different as he moved me from Texas to Louisiana where he was all to familiar with the laws there. I hired attorney and PI there, and today, I can say I am now divorced. But in Louisiana that doesn't mean anything as far as the property goes. I filed here in Texas but he was to smart for me, he moved me away just long enough to become a Louisiana resident and not a Texan. Seven months in Louisiana out drew 59 years of being a Texan. Who would of thought? I filed anyway, and added a Tort action against for the STD hoping it would help render me anything in the way of a dollar. Instead, he filed his own Tort action for deflimation and I too have many websites and tracking the ISP, give what, His attorney also is on my websites for hours at a time. Now I did not use this scumbags name in my book anywhere, so he was told he does not have any lawsuit but his attorney has such a hard on for me that he pursues even though he left me with zero money for his gain. Of course my attorney worthless as he was, allowed this predator to have 9 months to hide money, transfer funds, give away to family, let the home become past due, and completely ruin my credit for all of my life but yet, not one temporary order was filed to prevent this. He has harrassed me mentally since I arrived in Texas from Louisiana, even driving up in front of my rented TH and taking pictures. He lied to the mortgage co. and told them their was no marital problem therefore, no reason to contact me. When I contacted them, they did not mention the arrears on the mortgage. Do I feel like a victim? Yes. Have I gotten down on my knees and begged for help? Yes. Has our judicial system failed me completely? You decide. He sits holding previous conviction for domestic violence in Louisiana, yet today has a concealed weapon and carries it with him. He has arround $500,000 in investment accounts in his name only, the mutually owned property in Louisiana, well he purchased with my 401K and income from my labor. He works and pockets under someone elses SS number his income so nothing shows up in his name. His harrassment and intimidation continues daily yet I just yesterday fired my attorney. He never calls me, doesn't answer emails, is differently not my advocate, and the horror story to the fading end; his x wife died the very month he settled his property with her, giving her, yes that right, after twelve years and his wiping her out financially and emotionally and physically, she received from him, $35,000; which was out of the JOINT savings account so therefore was my money. She did have a permanent protective order against him and the only way it was going away was if she died. I really hope for you, things turn out better. But after my journey into the dark and trying to rise everyday with sunshine instead of rain, I feel defeat. If your defeated by a bully, what does one do. If you fight back trying to be the bully, but your not big or bad enough, what does one do? These stories go on everyday every corner of this world. The ones we hear about are the few that come to head of the news media because of the death of the person, usually because, she was pregnant or a child was too involved. What do we do to regain our lives back? Our judicial system helps sociopaths and I can't understand why? SK Covey

I am going though living hell with my soon to be ex Narcissist husband. He changed the locks on the house leaving me and our daughter (months old at the time) homeless with nothing. He said he would not financially enable me, meaning he cleaned out the bank account, stopped paying all bills in my name (they all are in my name), bought a new car in his name, leaving both cars in my name, removed his name from the auto insurance policy, threatened to have me arrested and threatened to try to get my teaching license revoked (not sure how) if I came to my house, had his lawyer threatened to have me arrested for burglary and theft if I came to the house to get our things. That was just the beginning, it has been 2 months since the lockout and he still has out possessions. The lockout was done w/o a court order and now I have to wait for the exclusive possession hearing in December, howver mylawyer put infor an emergency hearing for partial distribution of my things and it was DENIED! We have nothing, he has paid nothing. I have a PFA on him and after that he tried to get one on me whic was denied. his allegations were that I made him use generic contact solution against his will and it burned his eyes and I laughed, then he accused me of making him eat moldy bread. The court stenographer was giggling and I was so embarrassed that I had to even show up for such garbage. He has accused me of having PPD t p depression, a chemical imbalance, just being plain crazy, and the most recent is that I have a prescription drug addiction. There is so much more going on I can't even explain. My life is a 3 ring circus right now and he is now trying to batter me with the so flawed legal system. He is even trying for full custody of the baby. I just can't even believe that this is my life, it is so surreal. He has not paid his spousal or child support and I have been told I have to wait until November until anything is done. I am court ordered to give him visitation every Saturday from 10-4. No judge has been able to see this whole story yet and I am hoping that when it is all laid out in front of them it will go in my favor, I am trying to play by the rules but I am getting frustrated.

My Story of Dating and Loving a Sociopath/Narcissist I met Thomas Aland Derrah AKA Tom Derrah on Chemistry.com in February of 2009. He wrote to me through the site and we corresponded several times before speaking on the phone. I liked his profile very well and enjoyed his style of writing and what he wrote in our correspondence. When we spoke on the phone, we had no problem starting and maintaining a conversation on the phone. He was articulate, intelligent and had all the time in the world for me. We met on March 6, 2009 for a drink. I got there first and very symbolic of our relationship, he blindsided me and sneaked behind me and playfully grabbed the back of my neck. The attraction and chemistry was immediate. He was extremely charming. He looked into my eyes with such a piercing look that I felt he was seeing through me. He was fun. He mad me laugh. He treated me like a gentleman. He had a great energy. I just enjoyed being around him and with him all the time. That very same night we had dinner together and made love. Since I was an hour apart from Houston proper, I was staying at a hotel that night. So he stayed with me and we had a wonderful and relaxing breakfast on the porch next morning. When I was leaving he asked me if I could see him next day. I was coming to Houston to see a ballet with my girlfriend so we decided to have dinner with my girlfriend. He invited me to stay at his place that night and I accepted. Lavish flattery began immediately. There was nothing I could do wrong. I was sexy, I was beautiful, I was attractive, my energy was great, it was fun to be around me, I was the best mother, I was the best doctor, I was the best lover, I was the best friend, I had great taste for clothing and jewelry, nobody has ever loved him like I did, he had never loved anyone like he loved me, he would marry me in a heart beat, finally he had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, that is why he had never settled down before, he did not want to settle for less, and I was the proof he was right to wait for the right person. Every time he would see me, he couldn't catch his breath (he was such a great actor, there was a visible pause in the movement of his chest). I was wise, I was brave, I was evolved, I was everything he would ever wanted from a woman. I was funny. He had such a great time with me no matter what we did together. I was fit. I was strong. He would send me fifty text messages a day telling me how much he loved me and how much he missed me and how even exchanging text messages he would be aroused, and how he was so attracted to me. He would bring me roses, buy me jewelry, music, wine, etc. Pity play began almost at the same time. He told me how abusive his parents were. How his mom used to scream at him and beat him. How his father was always dissatisfied with him and how he was refusing to tell him he was proud of him to this day. How his parents' divorce when he was 20 affected him because he was put in the middle. And then it was his wife and how he cheated on him with many men including his closest friends, and how she got pregnant many times and had an abortion every time, now he knew it was because those were not his children, how she gave him genital wart and he had to have surgery to remove it. Then it was his ex-girlfriend Emmy and how she was dependent on drugs and him and she would not let go of him and how he could not leave her because everyone in her family had abandoned her after she had disclosed that she had been sexually abused by a family member. And how his boss was treating him just like his dad did and how abusive the boss was, etc. From that point on, we had four months of amazing time together. Retrospectively that was the “honeymoon phase of our relationship”. Also retrospectively I see that things were moving very fast. Only a week after we met, he was telling his mother that he has found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and in the first month of our relationship he bought me a ring as a present. It was not an engagement ring and he did not propose but he emphasized that he had never given a woman a ring before. Very quickly he started introducing me to his friends. He “could not wait”. We went and visited his mom in Rhode Island for Mother’s Day and she liked me and my seven-year old daughter very much. She told him “she is beautiful not only on the outside but inside”. In that trip I also met his father, his stepmother, and two of his three brothers. During my visit, his mom told me that he has brought so many women home that she had told him “no more women unless they have a ring on their hand”. I looked at him, he laughed and pointed to the ring and said “she has a ring”. That was the very first time I questioned him. I told him I thought taking me to his mom was something special. He became very defensive and angry. He said after his wife of five years left him 18 years earlier, he had been single and dating and “naturally” had mat many women. He said he had taken about five of them home but not to introduce to his mom. He just invited them to join him in the trip to his hometown. He said he had taken only two women to introduce to his mom as people he had considered marrying. He was upset with me for a couple of days after we returned but then sent me an email and apologized for his mother’s “insensitive” remark and his own as well. On another occasion when we were staying with one of his friends in Austin, his friend’s 8-year-old daughter asked him why had had not bring his “other girlfriends”. He asked who she was talking about and she named a few names! He did not respond but I immediately felt like a number and completely disposable. I discussed how it made me feel with him but his universal response was anger and blaming things on me, my “insecurity”, my “fears”, etc. Very soon he prepared me for borrowing money. He told me how someone had scammed him on paying his student loans and how he had all this debt to pay but it was all going to be clear in a couple of months. How he had been helping a friend in advertising for his business and how he was not paying him and how there were thousands of dollars he would be receiving soon from him. How he was so responsible with money and he would never use a credit card and only use debit card so he knows he only spends the money he has. So how he would appreciate it if I put costs of all the activities we were doing together on my credit cards and once his student loan is clear, he would pay me back. Soon he would ask me to put charges related to his Canoe club on my credit card promising that once he collects money from members of the club, he would pay me back. Once his boss fired him, he could not pay for his bills and rent and he would insist that he could not borrow money from me. He had gained my trust at such a deep level that I handed him a blank signed check and then he wrote close to $2000 and chased it. Later on when I asked him to pay me back, he said he neither have the money to pay me back nor he owed me any money. As described in any typical relationship with a sociopath/narcissist, our relationship had three distinct phases: honeymoon, tension building, and finally violent phase. In the honeymoon phase even when we text messaged or talked he would get aroused. Whenever he saw me, whether it was an act or a true reaction, I could visibly see his chest would stop moving and he would take a deep breath and would tell me "you take my breath away". He could not keep his hands off me and we made love twice a day when we were together. In the tension-building phase, our sex life suddenly went from what I would rate 10 out of 10 to 1 out of 10. This was so sudden and so drastic that I suspected he might have developed erectile dysfunction. He no longer initiated having sex with me and when I did, 9 out of 10 times he would say he was "tired". Other excuses included being “busy”, or “depressed”. This went on until November when I found hundreds of pictures of naked women he was having "cybersex" with on his laptop. There were some emails suggesting he had invited these women to meet and have a drink and "see where it goes" but he I had no proof this had actually had happened. He adamantly denied having physical relationship with any of them. I broke up with him for a week but he asked for forgiveness, cried and said he has had sex-addiction for five years and now is going to get help and promised he would stop doing it right away. I got back with him but our sexual relationship never improved. Regardless of how legitimate my question or concern was, his very first reaction was always becoming defensive and turing things around and attacking me. This was always followed by a few days of completely shutting me off, not contacting me and even ignoring me when I reached out. Early on in our relationship, after a couples of days, he would contact me and apologizes for his reaction. But after the honeymoon phase, the days he would shut me out became longer and longer and no apology was offered. Instead over time he would build up grudge and become punitive. In response to many red flags in his behavior, he would accuse me of being insecure, having fear-based reactions, having no impulse control, blowing small things up to huge problems, being depressed, being anxious, not exercising enough, at one time sleeping too much, in another time sleeping too little, lack of self-confidence, etc. At the end I was crazy, I was f**ked up, I had taken joy out of his life, I had brought negative energy into his life, I had made him depressed, he was not excited to see me anymore, he did not want to be around me and he wanted me out of his life. By then I had recognized how self-centered he was. It was never about me and my needs. It was only and always about him and no matter how much I gave, he would feel his "deeper needs were not fulfilled". The relationship moved into violent phase and beginning mid January, on multiple occasions he tried to hit me and even chock me. This was particularly dangerous three weeks ago when I discovered many text messages on his cell phone indicating he has been sleeping with multiple women during our relationship. When confronted him, he described details of his sexual relationship with this women behind my back, without protection, like he was talking about weather. He had no remorse and no shame and did not offer an apology. He hurt me with such a righteous indignation and entitlement that it was beyond my comprehension. His absolute callous disregard for my feelings and legitimate needs were astonishing. He continued to blame everything, including his cheating and lying to me on me. Upon discovery of undeniable truth on his text messages and speaking with the women involved, I left him. I did file a police report but he lied to his teeth and police did not pursue the investigation. Following the tactic of offense is the best defense, he did file multiple police reports on me including one of harassment. He also filed for a protective order which he was denied. Currently I am suing him in Small Claims Court for the money he owes me.

raped, physically, emotionally & financially. I met my ex, after being on my own for 8 years, we married a year later to the day, he was a loving caring, tactile man, & i thought i had met the one, he saw me as his queen, & said he would treat me as so... 8 weeks after our marriage, he caused a huge upset at my sisters wedding, asking me for a divorce as he felty i was ignoring him! 5 months later he raped me the week before xmas, his excuse was he was feeling horny & i was his wife. he used to watch our younger next door neighbour when she was in the shower, from the bottom of the garden, this i observed him doing on many occasions. after 3 years of counselling, i had finally had enough, i threw him out, that was the 5th may 2009, from that day, he continued to spy on me, turn my so called friends against me, terrify my daughter, slash all four tyres on the car, which would have been our 4th wedding anniversary, no evidence it was him of course! digusting phone calls, text messages, drive past the house constantly, park at the top of the road,damage to the property, report me to social services, the local council, tax credits, absolutely anything, i used to get porn magazines delivered, pages of my private emails to people i thought were friends, my entire list of facebook contacts deleted one by one. & so much more, i went tthrough hell for 9 months, In Sept 2009, he had me served with a summons, to go to court, as he had collected evidence, when i had reacted to his text & phone calls by returning the same, unbeknown to me that was his plan, but it was tooo late by then, i had deleted all mine from him! He paid £850 to the courts for a non molestaion order to be placed on me, the courts happily obliged him, & the abuse continued, by this time i was logging everything in a journal, & collecting the log numbers from the police, i felt they were sick to death of me complaining, so they slapped a harrassment order on him, didnt cost me a penny! i thought that was it, but oh no, not with my ex! he then pushed me all the way to final hearing, although i tried my best to resolve things out of court, to save on legal fees. he just paid for everything on his credit card. I finally got rid of him & my absolute on the 18th november 2009, what a great day that was, but i had to pay him 20k, for the priveledge, the courts gave me 3 weeks to pay him, i had to remortgage my home for another 20k, i have a legal aid bill for 6k, I feel he has been rewarded for his years of abuse on me, yet, hes lied on oath & through the courts, to make himself look like a victim! i also have a cronic heart condition, of which he knew about. the past 9 months has put a hell of a strain on me & my family. i have yet to get him to sign over the deeds of the property to me, although he got his money before xmas, has a girlfriend whome he says cant get enough of him, & is younger than me, all in his messages, he has attempted to set me up on a false charge of attacking him with a knife, but my sister was there at the time of the alleged incident, & saved me from any more mocking from this evil man, It now stands that he has brought me back to court on three counts of breaching the non molestation order, when he was parked outside my sisters home, when i went to visit her, & for writing him a letter, telling him my thoughts on his behavior, over the divorce! I have a CONCIENCE! IT IS CLEAR! i have never lied, deceived or manipulated the system, he has nearly destroyed any self esteem i had left , i was getting anxious, paranoid & was refusing to leave the house in case i bumped into him, after some fantastic cognetive therapy i am getting back onn my feet emotionally, but hes still out there, & living 5 minutes down the road from me, I have lived in my home town all my life, he is from nortth Yorkshire, he will not leave, but i will if i have to! ime not afraid anymore of him, in fact now i am the happiest ive ever been in my life!... because he cant get to me mentally, physically or emotionally anymore! I have been the lowest i have ever been at any point in my life, so much so i tried to take my own life the week before xmas last year. I couldnt go on anymore, i had had enough, he said he would screw me into the floor! & he did, everyway he possibly could, he'd got the sympathy from the blind people he has been fooling, Richard? they say, hes lovely, such nice manners & always helpful, ooh hes such a lovely man!! so damned infuriating! i am just pleased i got away from him, i was convinced that no-one believed me, it was only when the domestic abuse team & support from the catalyst tem(who are linked to the police) got involved that i could actually talk to people as to what i had been through, they were immensly supportive. & actually knew what was going on, they told me who he was, a narcissistic sociopath, & sexual preditor. SO THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS; DO NOT REACT, OR GIVE THEM ANY AMMUNITION,!!! i did, i gave him the bullets, loaded the gun & shot myself! ...he used this on all his ex wives!!he had the control, because we all fed his revenge!!!!!.... HE MILKED THE JUSTICE SYSTEM, & FED OFF THE DRIPS!!!!!